Why Divorce is in men’s hands in Islam (2)


It’s worth-mentioning, and it should be at all time that real life is quite far from what we have seen in the movies fictionally that shows us no matter what happens, the whole universe has destined ways for us to live happily ever after effortlessly. If that is the case in life generally, it’s so much in marriage because it’s not what exactly young men did expect and fantasize about when they were still bachelors: it’s about peace of mind and happiness; exactly no, it’s rather complicated.

In fact, marriage is not like having popcorn in your hands while Netflixing the whole day or while rooting for your favorite NBA team. It’s rather quite the opposite flavored with ups and downs however the financial status in life. Arguments in married life are sometimes going off the rails, so the couple have to do necessary repairs and have to avoid you-versus-me thinking better during misunderstanding. It’s therefore important to keep in mind that love and compassion – the driver to successful marriage or Mawaddat wa Rahmah – is not only sensed in happy moments, but also appreciated more deeply when challenges are overcome.

Divorce is indeed considered as one of the expensive and yet easy to break in Islam. It’s paperless and may take only a few words to be expressed directly or by mere implications, that are mostly from men’s sides, and it will be in effect and be counted towards three maximum counts immediately based on Sharia law. Of Course, women are also given the rights to request for it, but not to pronounce it herself as man does, through her guardians or WALI if staying in marriage might destroy or affect badly their welfare, for “there should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm” – one of Islamic Fundamentals.

However, those “readers in bad faith” have taken advantage of this and come up with stereotypes against Islam, specifically Sharia law: that it has unjustly treated women what is supposedly due for them, in which we have read a lot of reading materials campaigning for this or even heard various gatherings in the name of Gender Equity attacking the unparalleled respect and care of Islam towards women and to equivocate its heavenly sources of law: The holy Quran and the noble Hadeeth. However, the truth always prevails in the end.

So, why Divorce is mostly in man’s hands in Islam? First, to understand the wisdom  behind this, we have to revisit the moment when he was about to get married that the first thing he was required is to be financially, physically, and mentally capable of the obligations awaits for a husband or husband-to-be, while it’s not the case for a lady as she was only asked to say YES after having pleased with the guy. This process doesn’t, however, discount the fact in our society that most women are financially capable; it only states the truth that men are conditionally tasked to shoulder the responsibilities in marriage. Dowry itself is a starting point of the burdens for every groom.

Second, this part has just proven the stereotype mentioned earlier about Islam are not that true, because Psychology has agreed that most women are right-brain thinkers in decision making with their personal matters. They are more emotion-driven that may cause unfavorable outcomes – that is the reason why tears come from ladies more than from men, though they also get hurt and feel pain emotionally. That being said, if ladies were given absolute rights to declare divorce themselves as what were for men, then there should have been a few marriages that lasted based on Shariah, provided the possible consequences.

Again, this doesn’t coincide with the intelligence of women in our society. They are indeed epitome of the brain in every institution whether in government or private sectors. However, the emotion and feeling is different, for it’s about nature in which we were created as men and women.

In conclusion, Islam is complete and splendid religion that has made corresponding laws in every aspect of life its followers have to live on. And in following and devoting our entire life to it is the only way to real happiness and well-being here and hereafter.

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